So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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