so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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