The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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