My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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