I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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