apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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