Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
