I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
