Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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