that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
