Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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