You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
