Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
