It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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