i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
What a dumb baby whore.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
