he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
