duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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