it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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