marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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