My liver just broke up with me...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize