Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
