Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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