after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
