cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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