the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i can't believe i had my finger in that
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
