You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
