Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
now i know why i became what i already was.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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