No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
