Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
