Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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