I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
