I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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