there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
