we made out on top of his cat.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My ass is underappreciated
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
