Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
