ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
