seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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