are you still at the devil's house?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
