dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I got her a Nickelback box set.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
