Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
