put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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