He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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