Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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