I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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