Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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