READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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