Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
