He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
