She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
