Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize