i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
