She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
