i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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