I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Rumble strips road head = magical
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
