matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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