we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
