How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
