my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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