Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
