Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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