Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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